50 degrees in Omaha feels a lot colder after spending every day in the outdoor pool in San Diego! Gabriel and I tagged along on Shaun's latest TDY job training to southern California for the past two weeks. Shaun worked hard and accomplished a lot, while Gabriel and I logged miles on the stroller walking along the bay and hours in the pool. My arms look great compared to two weeks ago with lifting the baby in the pool and not having the jumper with us, however the scale doesn't read any different. Dang it.
We were able to visit with Shamu's family, ride some rides, and walk along the windy Mission beach. I discovered that driving with Californian's wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be, and that my fear of spiders isn't at all unfounded after a near-death experience (my heart almost stopped, that is) with what I now think might have been a huntsman spider. I loved the food prices and the fresh produce- and taxes are less then Nebraska (Nebraska, what the heck?! People with mountains and oceans are allowed to keep more of their money!). Although I kept things tidy, it was great to have someone replace our daily doses of caffeine and new shampoo every afternoon so it would be there to comfort us every morning. All the cleaning ladies loved the baby, and several times I had three or four of them in the room trying to get him to smile. Gabriel backtracked on his sleep training, which we figured would happen, but overall he did great. He took his first assisted steps and learned how to get himself over his leg to get into the crawling position. He still mostly goes backwards, but he is slowly figuring out how to get forward motion moving in his favor. Given enough time, he can get where he wants to be.
After two weeks, I am very grateful to be back in my home with my own bed and the nursery one room over. I was so sad to move little man into the nursery, but what a blessing it is to all three of us as we all sleep better when he is able to go back to sleep without my aid. All of us are in better moods and less likely to have meltdowns after a good night of sleep. I miss the beginnings of the tan that I had started, but sleep is worth it. He hasn't slept through the night again yet, but we are getting closer. The Sleepeasy Solution is a beautiful thing, totally worth the money just for the emotional support you get from the book and dvd. I never thought I would be the mom crying in the next room, but I have a few times. It's totally different when it's your baby who you have cared for every second since conception. When realization hits that I'm leaving the room, that little face makes you want to take it all back. But Gabriel is now to the point where he will go down for a nap (that was the hard one for us) with less than a 30 seconds of crying, and fussing usually is over before we hit a minute. It's such a relief to have him on a sleeping schedule. The book says babies his age should be taking two naps a day... Mr. Gabriel is having none of that. Two hours is his usual wake time maximum. Shaun was great that first really hard night. I armed myself with my phone stopwatch, a journal and some tissues. He brought me a glass of wine and was there for me when I was almost ready to quit the whole thing. I love that I get to do checks at 5, 10, and 15 minutes because it helps little man learn that I'm always going to be there when he needs me and I haven't abandoned him.
It's funny the things that interest me that I had no idea of before being a mom. Pre-baby, I would have been grumpy running on interrupted sleep and/or lack of sleep. Post-baby, I can get grumpy sometimes, but usually handle it okay, and am so excited when I do get sleep that I want to tell the whole world because everyone should celebrate with me, right?! I have the best reason in the whole world for when I don't sleep at night, but, hallelujah, sleep can happen post-baby as well!
Sleep training has really been not only an emotional journey
for me, but also a spiritual one. Makes me think about the times when I
knew God was there, but maybe I didn't feel his presence quite so
closely, just as Gabriel was experiencing not feeling Mommy's presence
and learning I am still there in the hallway to protect and love him. I
won't go into specifics as this post is already long, but it's been a
humbling eye-opener, and I find myself finally willing to learn some
lessons I didn't realize I was resisting earlier.
