If you are a lot
like me, you have a three way battle with the idea of Submission and
Headship within a marriage. Emotions and selfishness, culture, and
wanting to please a spouse can make this so much harder and more
complicated than it really needs to be. I have a weird personality; I
hate... not strong enough... loathe conflict, but at the same
time that need for justice is strong enough to make my stubbornness
plant it's butt down when offended enough. So I have the joy of needing
to work on both sides to balance out my submission issues. Fun, huh?
But honestly, submission is freeing when practiced correctly, especially
when married to a spouse who strives to practice Biblical leadership.
Here's the list I found on Focus on the Families website today:
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What Headship Is
A husband who appropriately acts as the head of his home does:
What Headship is Not
A husband who appropriately acts as the head of his home does not:
What Submission Is
Being submissive does mean:
What Submission is Not
Being submissive does not mean:
“The Chain of Command in Marriage” by Jocelyn Green, Focus on the Family
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/military_marriage/the-chain-of-command-in-marriage.aspx
______________________________________________________
What Headship Is
A husband who appropriately acts as the head of his home does:
- Lead by example
- Exhibit humility
- Focus on building up others in the family
- Demonstrate trust toward his family
- Cultivate intimacy with his wife
- Affirm his wife's strengths
- Provide protection and safety
- Delegate responsibilities while retaining the final authority
- Take ultimate responsibility for the education and discipline of the children
What Headship is Not
A husband who appropriately acts as the head of his home does not:
- Dictate orders without consulting with his wife
- Seek to control his wife's actions
- Need to "win" every disagreement
- Criticize his wife's weaknesses
- Use threats, intimidation or coercion tactics
- Advance his own interests
- Abuse his family physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically
What Submission Is
Being submissive does mean:
- Recognizing your husband's authority
- Managing to the best of your ability those areas your husband has delegated to you, whether that be the family finances, childrearing or home organization.
- Telling your husband when you need to discuss a decision further before you are comfortable with it
- Finding your hope in God as the foundation of your identity
- Willingly showing respect and honor to your husband
- Building up your husband so he is empowered to lead (in other words, don't take the reins every chance you get)
What Submission is Not
Being submissive does not mean:
- Letting your husband do all the thinking for the family
- Agreeing with everything your husband says
- Putting your husband's will above God's will
- Depending on your husband for all your personal and spiritual strength
- Acting out of fear
“The Chain of Command in Marriage” by Jocelyn Green, Focus on the Family
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/military_marriage/the-chain-of-command-in-marriage.aspx