Conquering Changes and Challenges

Life is full of changes and challenges! One of the most important lessons I learned from my parents was to choose my attitude. I'm not saying I always choose the right attitude, but I have seen how very true this is. So many things you have no control over, however people with truly joyful lives are rarely the ones we would find with a perfect situation. What is their secret?! Choosing an attitude of gratitude and humor. Find the silver lining, or just simply determine that a miserable situation will not define you.

Those thought have been running through my head all week long. During Bible study, driving in the car, trying keep things to facts and/or funny when I tell Shaun that things are feeling a little gross instead of whining. I have had two pretty rough days with "morning" sickness, but I am so amazingly excited about this new life that the miserable moments pale in comparison with the joy I feel. I truly want to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy instead of how I've watched others totally miss the miracle of what is happening with their attitude of misery. I don't honestly think I will be grateful when I feel like I can't move another muscle, or that breakfast will make a reappearance at the very thought of peanut butter (ugh, shouldn't have made myself just type that). But I can be grateful of why I feel this way!

The past two weeks is when most babies sex is determined deep inside. It has eyes, holes for a nose, little stubs forming for legs and arms, and it's brain is growing at a rate that is stunning. I feel so connected to this life already, I cannot even explain it! Yesterday I realized my tummy is firming up, and when standing I think I can feel the begining of a little tiny bump starting to form. Tomorrow Shaun and I will go in for the first ultrasound. I cannot wait to hear that little heart beating inside that little jelly-bean sized baby! This truly is a blessed life I live!

Beautiful Life! Four Weeks Along Exactly

This is one beautiful life!! Shaun and I are settling into our home, buying one piece of furniture at a time to complete the look of our new life in Omaha. We still feel that it's a little large for us, but I have a feeling when baby comes that our minds will begin changing.

Shaun is working a lot of overtime on the flood team with the Army Corps (people we should be thankful for, not blaming, by the way. One levee in hundreds breaking down is a pretty good success rate. What if they weren't here for those other hundreds?). I'm working part time front desk at the Pinnacle Fitness Club downtown (I'm bias, but it's the best gym ever), and part time as the Ballroom Coordinator at the Scoular ballroom (which I LOVE!), and starting my own business as a Wedding & Event Planner that I can run from home after the baby comes. Shaun and I are both going back to school this summer with Liberty University Online. It's a busy, beautiful time right now!

Business is made a little more busy by Kayuh, Sitka and Mollie. Mollie and Kayuh are loving the time cuddling when I'm trying to nap before making dinner, and Sitka sticks to my side more than ever. I wonder if dogs can tell when someone is expecting? Hmmm, no clue. Kayuh and Sitka's shedding is driving me crazy lately. Shaun vacuumed one afternoon, and by night we needed to vacuum again- and not because I'm a stickler for clean, but because there were chunks of white hair just from them being inside for a half hour before bed! They are wonderful dogs, always make me feel wanted.

I told Shaun that we were pregnant on June 15th, when I found out for sure. It was such a fluke that I even found out. We had no idea! After going off birth control in October, I've kept packs of pregnancy tests in the house so that before we open a bottle of wine, I can be responsible and make sure. I bought a five pack of tests on clearance at Walgreen's, and wanted to make sure that they would work (why would one pack be on clearance?). First one was blank, so I took another one a few hours later. I was amazed to see a second line at all, but it was sooo faint that I didn't know for sure that it was right. Third test did the same. I took a picture of the test, just in case it was positive, and then tried to sleep. I didn't tell Shaun because I didn't want to get his hopes up. Trying to sleep, I couldn't. I was awake almost all night thinking up creative ways to tell Shaun he was going to be a dad so close to Father's day- all while trying not to get my hopes up. He has been there every other time I've taken a pregnancy test because I always told him before I took one.

All day at work, I was in an amazing mood! No sleep, crummy weather, and I was soooo happy! I had taken a forth test when I woke up to have another really faint second line again. I took the coffee Shaun made me this morning and took a few sips just so he wouldn't wonder what was going on. Worked all day, and decided to get different tests after we went home. I just knew I was pregnant at this point, hardly any doubt, but trying not to believe it until I had another test. Shaun was in a talkative mood on the way home so I let him carry the whole conversation as I was busting to tell him I was about to take a fifth and sixth test. I tried to find an excuse to leave the house without rising Shaun's eyebrows, but he caught on that I was going to go somewhere (guess my actions are predictable!). So he shoed me out of the house, and I grabbed my camera on the way out.

I went to Parable to find a devotional for expectant fathers so I could give it to him on Father's Day- but guess what? They don't exist! But I did find a journal for myself! I remember reading the few pages my mom wrote after finding out she was pregnant with me- it was so precious to me, and I want to have it to look back at. If I found out I wasn't pregnant, then I'd just save it for someday.

Next I went to Costco and got gas and produce (what I told Shaun I was going to get- can't make a liar out of myself!), and made my way quickly to Target. Practically ran to the tests, bypassing the groceries and darting between the cosmetic isles. Lucked out! The most expensive tests that read "pregnant" or "not pregnant" were on sale cheaper than the rest! Tried to be patient while waited in line at the slowest, friendliest checkout lady in the 12 and under "fast" lane. Found the bathroom, opened up the tests, and took two- not thirty seconds later they both read "Pregnant!" I cannot even describe how amazing I felt- yet numb, I couldn't really believe it! I just stood there for a while, totally thrilled and decided to get moving before I started celebrating and made up my mind on how to tell Shaun right away. After all, if I moved fast enough, it would start sinking in just in time to tell him and we could go through that together! I cleaned the tests, walked over to the baby isle and found the cutest baby blankets with little animals on them and took pictures of the tests using the blanket as the backdrop. Walked over to the one hour photo center, and added some captions to the pictures. While waiting for them to print, I picked out a frame, some baby stickers, and put the pieces of my plan together. The lady at the check out figured out that I hadn't told anyone and let me use her counter to put my frame together.

Ran home as fast as I could while being more careful than I possibly ever have been while driving. Wow, that was a fast change! ha, ha! When I got home, Shaun yelled, "Where's the camera? Our bird finished her nest and is inside of it!" I yelled back that I would get some pictures of it, terrified that as he would insist on taking some and find my pictures in the LCD playback. I was thrilled, if he was that excited about possible future baby birds outside our window, this was for sure a good day to tell him. Taking the camera with me, I got changed, grabbed a change of clothes for him and convinced him to go to Olive Garden.

I tested the video camera on the actual camera when I realized I didn't grab the right bag. It worked! Thank goodness! Once there, I told him I had something for him and he needed to not look and walk ahead. I opened the trunk stuffed the frame in my bag, and carefully guarded it. I told him he could have it after we ordered. We ordered, I got a taste of the sample wine because I didn't want him to put the pieces together last minute, and then I got out the camera and was ready to give him gift. He acted a little strange in front of the camera at first and I said "very good" the way he does to Mollie when he smiled as I asked. His surprise was priceless!!! I am so glad it was caught on tape. You can't tell, but I teared up while taping through all my giggles. At the end of the video he asks me to join him on his side of the table and on my way over I asked a waitress to take our picture.

When we finished eating, I couldn't just go home, I needed to do something baby-ish, and Shaun agreed to go to Babies R Us with me! We didn't buy anything, but we had a blast walking around realizing more and more that this was really happening! No wonder I have been so tired and in the bathroom with this crazy blatter in the past few weeks! We can hardly believe it, but we are sooooo excited! All through dinner, Shaun kept saying, "Are you serious! I can't believe this! These things don't happen to guys like me." My favorite was on the walk to the car, "I'm the most blessed man I know!" I've been tired, but really no other side effects other than feeling like I was a little crampy, always in the bathroom, and certain tenderness - but I just thought it was really bad case of PMS coming up. I can't believe it! We called one of his brothers after opening our mail and finding a picture of our beautiful niece, Charlotte. I took one more test in front of Shaun so he could see it with his own two eyes and really have reality set in, and then dug the other tests out of the trash to take a picture because I thought it was really funny that we had taken so many. The first one I took that was blank, now showed positive!

The next day I told a few ladies at work, texted Lauren and did my best not to call my family and blurt the news. I wanted to wait till fathers day or until I would see them in a few weeks. Let me tell you, I work with the best people and have some of the best friends!!

Father's day came and I let Shaun sleep in- a gift he won't have on other fathers day's coming up. Made him breakfast, and reminded him that the infant fighting Sioux hockey jersey he opened when it arrived two days earlier was his first father's day gift (which he took to work with his picture frame I made him, and was amazingly expensive for such a little cute thing). We went to CCC with Brad, Haleigh, and Noah. The topic of the sermon was "Words of Life" and the pastor asked people to tell him words they will never forget that have changed their lives. Shaun yelled out first before anyone else, "I'M PREGNANT!!!" and the crowd was loud with laughter! We told his parents and waited until I could skype mine that night. Shaun's parents were really excited, and when I held up the test that the doctor took to the webcam when telling my parents and brothers, only mom and dad talked- followed by Matt asking what in the heck that thing was, haha! Laurie screamed when she heard; my nephew, Dakota's, response is my favorite so far from family. Laurie told him he was going to have a baby cousin and showed him a picture of me, and he flipped to a picture of him as a baby and said, "Like baby Koda?!" I love that kid!

Shaun took my first profile picture at six weeks today. Still not showing, although I'm getting really good at sticking my tummy out when people ask. I've noticed a lot of people starring at my belly as if they are wishing it to grow over night. Haha! I'm so excited and so very happy. The last three days I have been unreasonably tired all the time, and have started having annoying nausia. So far only one real big battle against being sick. Poor Shaun. I've started progesterone shots as my levels are good, but not best- which Shaun learned how to give me today. I'm really sore for a few days after, but it'll be worth it if the baby is safe. I didn't reach all my body goals for the summer, and now I've accepted that those goals will have to wait. But at least I'll have a picture of my waistline to look fondly back at as I grow- although I'm one of the weird ones who can't wait to sport a baby-bump!

Pregnant ladies everywhere, I have no idea why you have decided to keep exactly how tired you are from making a baby a secret, but WOW! I have so much respect for pregnant ladies with toddlers to run after now. I wake up, and after getting ready for work am ready for a nap! Shaun is amazing, he does so much, and is totally interested and a part of this. He looks at all the updates and talks to friends who are pregnant and who've had babies- thank you ladies for helping my husband understand what I'm going through, because I'm even having a hard time understanding ;0) Today we got our first baby gifts from a lady Shaun works with, Pat. What a sweetheart! Totally made my day when Shaun told me and sent me a picture. Although I should clarify that the burp cloths are disguised as cloth diapers in the pictures, haha. I really don't think I'll have the energy to keep up with cloth diapers.

This is a beautiful life!